Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Time goes by

I can’t believe that it is already October. Time goes by so quickly and most of the time I don’t know where it is going. The other day J and I got an invitation in the mail to our nephew’s birthday party. This is going to be his 4th birthday. J and I started trying to have a baby the same time my brother and sister in law did. They’ve since had two children and we are still at the same place we were when we started trying. This is why it surprises me how fast time goes by.

It seems to me that for J and I time is moving but we are standing still.

We’re not going to the party. For one thing we’d have to travel and we’ll be doing that for the holidays so we’re not making another trip for a kid birthday party. For another reason I do my best to avoid social situations like this – birthday parties for kids, baby showers, etc. No way will I subject myself to that kind of pain and torture.

Work has been as awful as ever lately too. What with pregnant co-worker entering her third trimester the talk is almost constantly about babies and baby things. Now they are talking about planning a shower for her. I have been dreading this since she told me about her pregnancy. I’ve been trying to figure out a tactful way to not attend. I finally decided that I am just going to talk to her and explain why I won’t be there and not provide any explanation to anyone else. It’s not really their business anyway. I am curious to see though 1. whether I get an invite (these people all know about my IF and my miscarriage), and 2. who will end up angry with me for not attending. Ah, stay tuned for the outcome of this…

I just continue to hope for new employment where no one knows about what I’ve been through. And I also pray that they won’t hold the baby shower during a mandatory staff meeting. My workplace is known for these kinds of things. I’ll probably feel a flu coming on just days beforehand.

With October here I’ve decided to take part in the 2nd Happiness Challenge. I look forward to the meditation each day and hope that it helps my happiness level. As you can probably tell – I do need a happiness adjustment. And I am quickly trying to finish up a book I am currently reading so I can start reading Happiness Sold Separately, for the Barren Bitches Book Tour.

Whew…a lot going on! At least time will continue to go by quickly this month and before I know it I’ll be doing another IUI. If AF shows when I am expecting her then IUI will be right around the last week of the month. I so can’t wait to get started again. Just have to order the medication from the pharmacy, and decide whether or not we want to make one more tiny tweak in the protocol this month or not. We have a choice to make the change this month or next. Then we can start!


Kristen said...

It sucks to be lapped over and over again when you are still stuck TTC #1. I know how you feel. It is so depressing. I'm glad you are taking some time for yourself rather than subjecting yourself to that torture.

I hope the work thing doesn't cause a stir. If you talk to her, I think you are doing the right thing. It really is no one's business.

I hope AF doesn't show but if she does, I hope the Halloween BFP does the trick!

Anonymous said...

Good luck with your next IUI. I really hope you have good results this time.

Thanks for stopping by and lending me your support on my crappy day! I really apprecaite all the support I have been getting. I am hopeful for today's numbers but also prepared to hear the worse.

There are only so many tears that you can cry, ya know?!