Monday, September 10, 2007

How did I end up like this?

After our second failed IVF cycle J and I were, to say the least, devastated. I think, looking back, that's when I became the me I am today. The angry, jaded, jealous, bitter person I have become began the day I got the call about the second IVF/BFN. I think that's got to be when I started believing that a happy ending may not be possible for J and I on our journey to start a family. It's when I finally realized that things don't always turn out for the best - and experience has proven me right.
No matter how many times our friends and family tell us to keep trying, no matter how much they believe, no matter how many times we do try, there will always be the chance that I will get to the end of my childbearing years without a child.

btw - J and I decided on taking a break this month. It just doesn't make sense to spend money we don't really have, add extra stress to the cycle, etc. So, one month off and next AF we will start our injectible IUI's again. Maybe the new protocol will work eventually. Maybe not.
28 days to go 'til we start the next cycle.

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