Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Wait's almost over

Well, I have spent nearly the entire 2ww focusing my attention on the book tour. I have tried to get to everyone's posts, and am almost there. A few more days. It was nice to read everyone's insights into the book. And, most surprisingly, it helped to keep my mind off the hellish wait.
Tomorrow is 14dpiui (13 1/2dpo).
I'm scared. I'm afraid that AF is going to show by this weekend; right when she's supposed to. I don't know how much longer I can keep going, keep cycling. It is really wearing me down. I always thought that I would fight until I succeeded, but the time, the miscarriage, the debt, it is all becoming too much. I feel like I am starting to lose this war with infertility. Why can't I just have one baby?
I don't feel very hopeful at this point. I know it is still early and most people don't have symptoms at this point but I feel completely normal. I always compare my symptoms to the cycle when I did get a BFP. And, I don't feel anything I felt then - no irritability, no bloating, not really sore boobs (except for progesterone induced), nothing.
If no AF by Saturday (16 day luteal phase) then Sunday I'll test - but I don't hold out much hope for lasting that long before the witch shows.

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