Wait's almost over

Well, I have spent nearly the entire 2ww focusing my attention on the book tour. I have tried to get to everyone's posts, and am almost there. A few more days. It was nice to read everyone's insights into the book. And, most surprisingly, it helped to keep my mind off the hellish wait.
Tomorrow is 14dpiui (13 1/2dpo).
I'm scared. I'm afraid that AF is going to show by this weekend; right when she's supposed to. I don't know how much longer I can keep going, keep cycling. It is really wearing me down. I always thought that I would fight until I succeeded, but the time, the miscarriage, the debt, it is all becoming too much. I feel like I am starting to lose this war with infertility. Why can't I just have one baby?
I don't feel very hopeful at this point. I know it is still early and most people don't have symptoms at this point but I feel completely normal. I always compare my symptoms to the cycle when I did get a BFP. And, I don't feel anything I felt then - no irritability, no bloating, not really sore boobs (except for progesterone induced), nothing.
If no AF by Saturday (16 day luteal phase) then Sunday I'll test - but I don't hold out much hope for lasting that long before the witch shows.

Dreams

I had some strange dreams last night. First I dreamt that someone was putting their hand on my stomach and saying that they were going to "suck the life out of me". It wasn't really a person but rather a force of some sort, scary almost. I slapped the hand away and said that I wouldn't allow it to happen. I remember waking up feeling afraid. The second dream had my pregnant co-worker and her husband in it. We were talking and all of a sudden her husband says, "God didn't take away your baby to punish you." Pregnant co-worker got mad at him for saying it, but then he said he needed to tell me so I would know.
I know that these dreams probably mean nothing at all. I do have a dream book and could get it out, dust it off, and try to analyze the meanings. But it is probably just my sub-conscience fighting the fact that I am purposely trying to forget about my 2ww.

On another note, I do think the IUI was timed well this month. The night following the IUI I woke up at about 1am with awful ovulation pain. That means that the IUI happened prior to O'ing (I think) which is good! Gives those sperm a full 12-24 hours to fertilize that egg! Still though, difficult for me to believe that these IUI things can actually work.

Called out sick from work today. Not feeling that great - the headache I've had for two days most likely caused by the progesterone, the cold, dreary weather, and the fact that they were having a costume party at work today and my 2 pregnant co-workers (I had heard through the grapevine) were planning on dressing up as pumpkin smugglers, were all enough combined to make me sick to my stomach. Blah!