Dreams

I had some strange dreams last night. First I dreamt that someone was putting their hand on my stomach and saying that they were going to "suck the life out of me". It wasn't really a person but rather a force of some sort, scary almost. I slapped the hand away and said that I wouldn't allow it to happen. I remember waking up feeling afraid. The second dream had my pregnant co-worker and her husband in it. We were talking and all of a sudden her husband says, "God didn't take away your baby to punish you." Pregnant co-worker got mad at him for saying it, but then he said he needed to tell me so I would know.
I know that these dreams probably mean nothing at all. I do have a dream book and could get it out, dust it off, and try to analyze the meanings. But it is probably just my sub-conscience fighting the fact that I am purposely trying to forget about my 2ww.

On another note, I do think the IUI was timed well this month. The night following the IUI I woke up at about 1am with awful ovulation pain. That means that the IUI happened prior to O'ing (I think) which is good! Gives those sperm a full 12-24 hours to fertilize that egg! Still though, difficult for me to believe that these IUI things can actually work.

Called out sick from work today. Not feeling that great - the headache I've had for two days most likely caused by the progesterone, the cold, dreary weather, and the fact that they were having a costume party at work today and my 2 pregnant co-workers (I had heard through the grapevine) were planning on dressing up as pumpkin smugglers, were all enough combined to make me sick to my stomach. Blah!

Done

Well it is done. Now the start of another 2ww. I’m going to take some advice from another blogger and try not living in the gap. I am going to try to focus only on today and try not to think ahead two weeks, or 9 months, or whatever from now. Difficult? Yes, especially for me. I always have my calendar in front of me, planning next steps. For one time, I would like to not think of next steps, and keep that hope that maybe this time will work. We’ll see how it goes.

The IUI went well. The nurse did a good job and didn’t cause any spotting. The sample was decent. I only worry about timing. I wish I didn’t always second guess this stuff. I worry that because I was starting to surge yesterday that this morning is too late. What if I ovulated last night? That means by the time IUI was, at 10am this morning, I could already be 8, 9, 10+ hours past. Eggs are only fertilizable for 12-24 hours, right? I wish I didn’t know so much medical information and I was still trusting that Dr. RE’s main goal is to get patients pregnant, not make more money. It would make my wait a bit easier.
The beta is scheduled for November 7^th but I won’t go that day. I normally have a 16 day luteal phase so I won’t go for a beta until after day 17. No sense in wasting time, gas, or energy when I could just wait a few days longer to get an answer. I’ll do my hpt on November 10^th or 11^th and go for a beta after that.

The nurse seemed happy with the follies I had, the cervical mucus I had, and the ease at which the catheter went in. I am hopeful today.

IUI Today!

Getting reday to go to the IUI today. Yesterday at the dildo-cam appointment I had two follies, 19.7 and 16.9 and one on the right only at 10.6. My E2 was 360 something and I was already starting to surge on my own. So, they had me trigger anyway last night and this morning is IUI. I'll update more later...