Thursday, February 21, 2008


I guess I will never understand certain people’s ability, or lack thereof, to keep something a secret. It seems to me that it is simply a matter of respect for another person’s privacy. Apparently J’s family has a difficult time keeping things to themselves.

We decided to take a short weekend trip to visit our families this past weekend. Both of my sister’s were going to be in town and I don’t get to see them very often. Also, begin cautiously optimistic that this p-word thing will continue progressing; I figure I may not get to see them over the summer when we usually visit one another. Now, we have told my Dad, Grandma, and my two sisters but no one else in my family (we don’t want to tell extended family until after our next appointment with the OB) We also told J’s parents, grandmother, and one sister, and had planned on telling his other two siblings during our visit.
We get to J’s grandmother’s house on Saturday, where everyone was gathering. We were excited to be able to tell his other brother and sister. But, when they arrived, they both knew already! His Grandmother decided to share our news for us, and also thought it OK to tell some of his aunts, uncles, and cousins. Can you believe that! I was fuming!
They all proceeded to bombard us with questions which we felt really uncomfortable answering. So I did my best to give one word answers and try to change the subject. They even asked if we had names picked out yet! Names!! We haven’t even gotten to the point in this pregnancy of when our last loss occurred. Why in the world would we be picking out names now?!
To top it off, the town we are from is not that big in size. One of my cousin’s sons is friends with J’s sister’s son and we found out on Monday (after arriving home) that she decided to tell him when he was at her house the other day. So, now there are people in my family who also know our news already. And I was wondering why they were interrogating me about my “stomach bug” over the weekend.

When J called his grandmother to ask her why she told other people, her reply was, “well you’ve got to tell other people sometime.” Arrgh!!! It is really hard not to be angry with this woman. I understand she is in her 90’s and maybe doesn’t fully understand what she has done, but still, some respect for our news and our privacy would have been nice.

So that’s that. I am a little bit frustrated at this point but I guess there is nothing I can do. What’s done is done. Lesson learned though – we will not share any additional secrets with anyone in his family, ever.

On the p-word front. Today is 11w1d. I am really getting close to the time when we lost our last baby and am starting to have lots more anxiety and worry this past week, even more so than what I’ve normally been feeling. Hopefully, I can keep getting through this one day at a time. Symptoms still the same, although the nausea seems to be not so constant every day, but now the constipation is starting to come on full force. Can not wait until our next appointment. Seems like March 12th is a lifetime away.


K @ ourboxofrain said...

That *really* sucks. I'm so sorry Js family doesn't seem to get it. I have no idea why people have such a hard time respecting the privacy and express wishes of others. This is, admittedly, in part why we didn't tell any grandparents -- our various friends who are pregnant or have children have all had a grandparent be the one to open a big mouth and ruin the couple's chance to share their news when and with whom they want. I just don't get it.

Our next appt is the 10th -- I feel you on the seemingly interminable wait. The at-home doppler definitely helped ease some of my anxiety. Highly recommend it.

noswimmers said...

Just wanted to pop over and say THANK YOU for the wonderful comment, it means so much!

I would be pretty p.o.'ed with grandma as well--its your decision when to tell people!

Road Blocks and Roller Coasters said...

I understand your pain. G's mother did the exact same thing--both times we were pregnant. She then had to tell everyone the first time that we m/c, which I'm sure was pleasant. You would think she would have learned after the first time, but no. She told EVERYONE AGAIN. It's frustrating, but try not to get too upset. I think her intention was to do it out of happiness, and she was not thinking of other outcomes that may worry the both of you.

Glad to hear you are doing well otherwise! :)