That's what I am right now, and not from some steamy sex encounter J and I have had.
I have possibly the WORST cold ever in the history of mankind. Or maybe it just seems that way because I'm not allowed to take any kind of medication.
Wednesday afternoon I started feeling the familiar itching in the back of my throat. Thursday was the same thing in the morning so I was pretty relieved, maybe I'd escape the actual cold and it would just be a dry throat. But no, by Thursday afternoon it was a full force head/chest cold. Friday I spent my day at work using up an entire box of tissues and sneezing, I think, once every 5 minutes. Is there some kind of Guinness record for how many times someone sneezes during the day? I'll have to look it up because I bet I beat it.
Saturday, the sneezing continued only this time every time I sneezed it was three in a row. J, while a huge help when I don't feel well, thought this was the funniest thing, and remarked that there was one sneeze for each of us; me, Baby A, and Baby B. I, on the other hand, was completely worried that somehow the sneezing would hurt the babies, and immediately began consulting with Dr. Goo.gle about miscarriages caused by the common cold.
Today, the sneezing has stopped but now I am completely congested. I mean I can't breathe at all!! Nothing I can do helps - not the vicks vap-o-rub, not the throat drops, not the humidifier, and not the towel tent of steaming water. Nothing. Not to mention the lovely chapped face I have from using three boxes of tissue in three days.
So, I have resigned myself to the sofa for today, and most likely tomorrow too. Hopefully since colds only last about 7 days by Wednesday I may just be starting to feel better. If not, I can look forward to some cough medicine or a decongestant in about 2-3 weeks.