Friday, May 2, 2008

Registries, and Showers, and Names...Oh My!

I've been so afraid of even thinking about this p-word thing for so long that now I feel almost claustrophobic about how much there is to do in the next few months. It's just all so scary to imagine that I'm more than half-way there and "normal" people (those not affected by IF or pregnancy loss) think that it's getting close enough for us to start buying furniture and baby things.
After much debate within my head (and with J) I finally decided that it would be OK to allow my sisters to have the shower they offered to have for me. Just thinking about it still makes me hyperventilate a bit though. But, I am trying hard to feel and start to act like a p-word person. Problem is the old IF feelings always have a way of coming through. My co-workers act surprised that I don't share news about what I'm feeling on a daily basis, and seem shocked that I still worry about and fear upcoming OB appointments. If they only knew what it is really like to be in these shoes.

J and I will probably start painting "the room" by the end of this month - once we can open windows. I figure, if anything, we at least have to have the room painted and have something for these two little bugs to sleep in when they arrive.

I worked so hard for so long to avoid anything p-word related that I have to admit I was surprised this morning that I am already starting to outgrow my m-clothes. I NEVER would have thought you could outgrow these things! And still about four months to go. I may have to have my OB take me out of work simply for the fact that I won't have anything acceptable to fit me to wear to the office.


Fertilized said...

I think I feel the same way as you do. A few co-workers (that i do not see regularly) didn't know i was the p word until a invit eto my work shower was sent out. Everyone is so "amazed" how I don't complain and use the p-word excuse to get out of work.

I wish i woukld have known about it when I registered: look at tis website

that way if you find things from didferent stores- it combines it for your guests to see.

Road Blocks and Roller Coasters said...

I think it takes time to come to terms with things, whether they are bad or good. And certainly after dealing with IF and pregnancy loss, it is hard to fully accept the rites of passage that come with pregnancy. I've experienced the same thing, and now that I'm 29 weeks, I'm starting to feel a bit more comfortable. I'm not settled, but more comfortable with buying things and preparing. It's hard. Hang in there and take things day by day. Eventually it will start to feel better.


vamplita said...

I can see how you'd be reluctant to mention your condition, because as we know, life can be all too fleeting.

However, try to enjoy your condition! Revel in the little moments of joy you feel, even if you can't fully recognize it as what it is just yet. With time, perhaps it'll be something you can actually call pregnancy.

Congratulations on reaching this stage. Be well. :)