I've been so afraid of even thinking about this p-word thing for so long that now I feel almost claustrophobic about how much there is to do in the next few months. It's just all so scary to imagine that I'm more than half-way there and "normal" people (those not affected by IF or pregnancy loss) think that it's getting close enough for us to start buying furniture and baby things.
After much debate within my head (and with J) I finally decided that it would be OK to allow my sisters to have the shower they offered to have for me. Just thinking about it still makes me hyperventilate a bit though. But, I am trying hard to feel and start to act like a p-word person. Problem is the old IF feelings always have a way of coming through. My co-workers act surprised that I don't share news about what I'm feeling on a daily basis, and seem shocked that I still worry about and fear upcoming OB appointments. If they only knew what it is really like to be in these shoes.
J and I will probably start painting "the room" by the end of this month - once we can open windows. I figure, if anything, we at least have to have the room painted and have something for these two little bugs to sleep in when they arrive.
I worked so hard for so long to avoid anything p-word related that I have to admit I was surprised this morning that I am already starting to outgrow my m-clothes. I NEVER would have thought you could outgrow these things! And still about four months to go. I may have to have my OB take me out of work simply for the fact that I won't have anything acceptable to fit me to wear to the office.