Just Updates

This past week my emotions have run the gamut from happy, to sad, to extremely worried and scared.
First I had a scary day the beginning of last week. I was at work, and needed to use the ladies room, for the millionth time that day. Lately I've been feeling like one of these bugs is sitting right on my bladder. I constantly feel the urge to use the bathroom, but most times, it's not very productive. I went to the bathroom, left, and proceeded to head upstairs to the water cooler. On my way back down the stairs, I felt some fluid leaking out of me. I ran back in the bathroom as quick as I could, fearing seeing red. No red, but definitely something clearish.
By this point I'm practically shaking so I go back to my desk, sit down and put my feet up. My head is spinning about what to do so I consult with Dr. Google about pPROM and premature labor symptoms. Everything I can find says that if there is amniotic fluid leaking it would not stop leaking. So, I decide to sit with my feet up for a while, and when I get up again if there is another leak go to the ER immediately. Sat there for 45 minutes, got up and nothing. I also in this time of consulting with Dr. Google found out that if the fetus kicks your bladder you could leak urine. Decided to keep a close eye on the amount of discharge I had over that evening and the next few days (until my next OB appointment) to see if anything else happened. Thank goodness, nothing since then. Apparently, I wet my pants without realizing it. I had no idea this could happen. Another surprising pregnancy "symptom".
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Had another OB appointment this week too. I am now 22w4d. Luckily the OB appointment was very uneventful. She just weighed me, took my blood pressure, listened to the two beating hearts, and measured my stomach. I have gained a total of 24 pounds so far - exactly where I wanted to be based on some twin pregnancy books I've been reading. Everything else is good thus far. Next appointment is still going to be another month away (I was hoping to start every other week now because I still get the nightmares and horrible thoughts with the longer time between appointments). But one more monthly visit and then we'll start every other week. Next appointment will be another ultrasound too. Can;t wait to see how much they've grown in there since last time.
I'll have to do my gestational diabetes test before next appointment too. I have my flat orange drink in the fridge ready to go whenever I decide to go to the lab.

Babies have been kicking up a storm in there too, which is pretty amazing! I am so glad to finally be able to really feel them. Not just bubbles popping anymore, but real distinguishable kicks and punches. Love it! J felt it too the other day. He seemed awe-struck and I think this p-word is finally starting to feel more real for him.
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A mixed bunch of emotions for yesterday. I am happy that someone actually wished me a Happy Mother's day (although it felt both good and odd to me at the same time). It also made me sad to think about my own mom who is not with us anymore, and how much she would have loved these two bugs. And it made me reflect on where I've been in past years' on this day, made me think of the baby we lost, and of all of the people who still are not even where I'm at yet.