Monday, April 7, 2008

The Honeymoon Stage

Apparently the person who coined this phrase does not have a dictionary with the words infertility or miscarriage in it.

Supposedly this is supposed to be the best part of my p-word. But, for example, I still have a hard time even mentioning the word. Yes, my morning sickness is gone and my energy is returning a bit. But I still obsessively run to the bathroom checking my underwear every time I feel something down there, I worry incessantly about not having felt the babies yet (even though I'm only 18 weeks this week), and I have awful nightmares about my babies each time I begin approaching another OB appointment.
For someone who has fought the IF battle there is no "honeymoon" phase. There seems only to be fear, worry and anxiety. And if I could fast-forward to September and just have these babies born, I would do so in an instant.

My 18-week appointment is tomorrow. I'm nervous. J can't come with me - someone at his work quit last week and now he has to cover their shift. I'm going to be all alone and I'm scared. Any prayers for a good appointment with both babies doing well would definitely be appreciated. That's what I'll be doing all day today - just praying for good things tomorrow.

Sorry I've been a terrible blogger lately. I promise I will start getting better again.

3 comments:

Fertilized said...

Thinking good thoughts for your appointment!

K @ ourboxofrain said...

Many prayers for a great appointment coming your way.

I too have been freaking out about not having felt much/any movement yet and I too compulsively check with every sensation down there. I'm hoping that makes it normal. Either that or we're together in our issues.

Road Blocks and Roller Coasters said...

If it makes you feel any better, I'm 25 weeks and still doing the toilet paper tango. I don't think that I will ever stop that, unfortunately.

Praying like mad for you, sweetie! Good luck tomorrow! :) HUGS!